Most of the time my answer is: “I needed some fresh air”! And as much this can sound like a joke it is actually not too far from the truth!
At 44 I got myself into a point where I needed to decide what in my life needed more courage. Continuing on being unsatisfied and (possibly) burned out, or dropping everything and give myself another chance.
It has been not the easiest decision, as at that age, (pretty much everywhere in the world, but especially in Italy, I would say) you are supposed to have found your place and mean in life. In your career, in your family, possibly in a geographical place.
My life was a mess. I thought I had a career, but it brought me to the edge of a burn out. I didn’t have a proper relationship, but I was walking amongst other lost beings, that brought only more disappointment, sorrow, void and cold into my life. I was sick to death of the big city, imploding in its own traffic, noise, pollution, with overcrowded streets, buses and clubs.
I needed some magic.
I had to stop and think what I really wanted to do: sometimes it’s not easy because we are scared of our own desires! We keep our minds busy enough to they have no time to think properly, constantly distracted from the day to day life. Until I managed to see the bigger picture, and then started to work on the details.
Iceland always called me, somehow, but I never found a way of visiting until my 40th birthday, when I finally managed to put some money together and make this first longed trip. What I found touched my soul deeply, feeling a great sense of belonging and something I still cannot express in words. The emptiness of the valleys was bursting with presence, and even if I was alone, I felt I did not need anything else. There was space, and sly and air. The elements were strong and Nature was expressing herself in so many enormous and sometimes invisible and mysterious ways, that it took me a while to process what I experienced.
So, I had chosen my next jump. Since I moved, I knew I had done the right thing, because everything started to fall precisely into place. It was like magic: making wishes, and seeing them coming true, step after step, choice after choice.
Yogi Bhagian said: “If you give yourself a chance, the Universe will give you all the chances”. I guess he was right.
I had people telling me I am their hero, that I give a stunning example of resilience, or that I am a phoenix! I want to tell these people not to lose their flame! To spend more time in connection with their soul, to nourish it, to treasure it! We all go through challenging times, and it looks like we are constantly bombarded with messages on how we have to act, where we should be going, what we should become, how we should look... But it is crucial to listen to what our inner self have to say! To be true to ourselves and persue our dreams, or in general aiming to what makes us feel good. Talk to people, talk to professionals, ask for advice, open up to possibilities, because is never too late and there is nothing wrong in wanting to be happy!